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7 Examples:
In Relationship, 
The phase 10 deck of cards was a good tie in, because she mentions it at both ends of the story, which seems to emphasize that it is an important part of her discussions with her friend.
The description of the birthday scene is extremely vivid, both in detail of the events, and of her feelings, which creates a strong appeal to our pathos.
The description of her feelings when she lied to her mom was especially good, since we can all relate to what it feels like to betray the trust of someone that important to us.

In Mistaken Procrastinator, 
The use of a direct ending, when she addresses the reader, was very helpful because it helped finish off the essay in a way to make it connect to the readers.
The Show and tell example was also a good one, because readers can relate to it.

In Don't take it for granted, 
The bathroom example was a good one because it furthers her point that people see our actions as who we are.
I liked the description of the events with Doyle. She describes his "Doubtful" expression, but then he ends up going with her, which reinforces her point about friends.

5 things for my essay
I may go into more detail about my fight with the "Lady," or I may take it out completely. It doesn't really do much for the story as it is, and i don't really see what it could add to it.
Im going to add more description of the jokes as they were outside of plot, and outside of the group.
I'm also going to insert somewhere descriptions about the jokes other members of the French group had to endure, even though they weren't actually French.
I may include a description of how I felt when they decided not to include the French into the story at all, even though it was my last year and they knew it was important to me.
I think i'm going to do what Mistaken Procrastinator  did, and have a direct ending where I make a plea to the four heads of fair.